Me-Time.

I've been thinking lately about "me-time."
Mostly, about what it has come to mean to me.

I don't really know.

A couple years ago, pre-marriage and pre-kids, if someone had asked me what I do in my free time, I think I would have talked about things like playing the piano, writing songs, writing poetry, (writing, period), running, playing with friends, having a bubble bath, reading a good book, watching a really worthwhile movie, going hiking, taking pictures, yaddy yaddy yadda. Hobbies, basically. Good things. Enriching things. Enjoyable things.

I took a quick inventory of my time to see how much I get to do those things now.

I panicked!

Oh NO, I hardly get the time to do any of these any more, I must be LOSING MYSELF!!!
That's what that must mean, right?
Well...at least I felt like I should be panicking. I initially felt some mild concern. Some things I really should be taking a little time for, like keeping up musical talents. But I was mostly just surprised by the fact that I didn't really feel like I was missing out. I didn't feel like I was less fulfilled because I hadn't soaked in bubbles lately.

I thought it interesting. And so I've continued to think about it as I've washed dishes.
(I do that a lot. Wash dishes, I mean. No dishwasher around here except for me. Awesome.)

I thought about the things that make me feel great. Like, really great. And I've since come to the conclusion that I have become an incredibly boring person. The things that came to mind were things like "declutter a closet: so rejuvenating!" or "make a room beautiful, decor-wise, using what I already have in new and creative ways" or "cook up an incredibly delicious, incredibly nutritious meal that makes even my hubby want to eat his vegetables."

See? Boring, right?

I may be a hopeless case. But I don't see this getting any better any time soon. I'm doomed.

Though...I'm hoping there's a perfectly acceptable explanation. Maybe? Somewhere. I'm hoping that it means that my hobbies have evolved to include new-found interests and sought-after skills. I'm hoping it means that I'm learning to really enjoy my work. I'm hoping that it means that I'm learning that making a home is not a far-off final destination, where the price is wading through mirthless duties...but a process, where the purpose is in the sweetness of the journey. I'm hoping it means I'm deepening and maturing...not flatlining....beeeeeeeeeeeep.

Because, really: who's definition of doing something for me means doing the dishes in the sink so that I'll wake up to a bright, clean kitchen the next morning?

(Sssh. Don't tell anyone that a clean kitchen makes me happy. They might get the wrong idea. I'm so much more exciting than that.... Hey, why are you laughing?)

That's it. I'm going to take a bubble bath. While thinking up different ways I can rearrange the kids' bedroom furniture.