Create.

"What do you do all day?"

The question was posed yesterday by my bored-out-of-her-tree Sister-in-Law. She'd been stuck at home for the last three days with pneumonia, forced to stay home from work to relax, recuperate, and....um....what?

It's the question I've seen in my husband's eyes on occasion when he runs through his own personal to-do list of what I should have accomplished that day and is forfeited the satisfaction of mentally checking it off. I think he even asked it out loud once....and then learned never to ask it again...at least not with that tone of voice. (Ladies, you know the one I mean).

It's the question I asked myself when I was home for the last couple months of pregnancy. And when I couldn't answer it with any kind of self-satisfying response, I began to dread being a stay-at-home mom...something I had always looked forward to.

More than a question, it was a plea: Will someone, ANYONE, tell me how this is supposed to be a fulfilling line of work???

My sister-I-L was asking with pleading. She was also worried that this meant she was doomed to hate stay-at-home motherhood FOR-EV-ER.

So, we chatted.

These were my thoughts that I shared...not verbatim, because let's face it: what you should have said is, without fail, always better than what you did. So here's the basic idea...improved by my post-convo elaborations and epiphanies:

I have a job to do. Self-employed, if you will.

What I do is my duty, my responsibility, my art. All wonderfully, stressfully, gloriously mine.

Just like any job, you can show up, breathe the air, and do only as much as you need to earn the paycheck. I used to look at maintaining a house like that: just suffer through it (ugh.) so you can hurry and get on with living, already.

And I suppose that was okay back when I was a student. I had roommates, we shared responsibilities...which got done...um...sometimes...y'know, when someone wanted a break from studying. The only thing solely our own responsibility was our room, where no one else really went and the place that could easily hide behind a closed door while we were busy chasing fits of laughter, potential Prince Charmings, and the next mid-term paper...(in that order, I might add).

And so, keeping a home came SECOND to all of those firsts, a tough spot for a home to be. In fact, come to think of it...home was usually the way we referred to the place where we went on holidays, the place that was well-maintained by a momma who made us warm meals, listened to our woes, and welcomed us with arms thrown wide.

Oh, that haven of a place!

The place we resided while at school just wasn't the same. Since being a single student, then getting married and being a married student, then becoming a stay-at-home mama, I've discovered that going from partial house-sharer to being THE Home-maker is a pretty big process in a girl's life; it's got a steep learning curve. Or, maybe it's just me: I'm constantly fighting a long-lived attraction to the philosophy that almost everything else...especially having fun.... is so much more important than cleaning a stinkin' house.

BUT...I'm also slowly discovering that making a home is much, much more than just 'cleaning a house.' I am learning to take great satisfaction in getting better at my job.

I take pride in making a meal plan that works, saves money, and is nutritious for my growing little family.

I feel good about keeping on top of the cleaning, always doing just a little at a time so it's never a gigantic and overwhelming event.

I find joy in the moments where I get to just sit and stare at my precious baby, making faces at her and reveling in her smiles.

I find satisfaction in keeping my home in order so that when my hubby comes home from a day of chaos and confusion, he can breathe and find peace.

I feel fulfilled as I learn new skills...some directly related to homemaking, and others not....that challenge me and build confidence so that I can continue to be a pillar of strength to my family and friends.

And I face the day happy when I invest a small amount of my day to being spiritually renewed so that I can lift others with love and compassion...whether they can feel that in my home, or whether I can take that with me from that same home.

Home is something I create: creativity at its finest...and in its most crucial setting, I believe.

That's pretty important, I think.