Music Days--Verse Three.

(Read Verse One and Verse Two first to clear up any confusion as to what's going on here.)

"The Ones that Remind Me of The Boy."

I'm guessing that everyone who's ever been a teenager has that one (or maybe two...) someone who absolutely captured you. Who made your heart want to explode. Who you lied awake thinking about at night. Who's every look and word and action meant something. Who's memory will always remind you of the roller-coaster, of what it meant to be a teenager in love.
And it doesn't really matter if it was the guy in your Chemistry class that you never talked to, or your best friend's girlfriend that you secretly adored. They were that person to you, and that's all that matters.

(Warning: this post may be a doozey. Mostly because this whole experience is probably one of the most potent experiences of my adolescent life.)

My someone was two years older than me. My best bud and I had had a secret crush on him since who-knows-when, and at the tender age of 15, I was singled out by him as the girl he adored and wanted to date.
I was beyond euphoric.
And I went against my family's rules of no-dating-until-your-sixteen to secure the man-of-my-dreams.
Two weeks after we started dating, he told me he thought he loved me. My parents paid me hundreds of dollars to just WAIT a few months to kiss the guy (no, I'm actually serious)...in an effort to keep their little 15 year old (who thought she was 18) from running way faster than she was really ready for. I wasn't sure what I was missing by not kissing someone...so I agreed. He waited patiently while we planned our supposedly impending wedding, 8 years from then...we even had a date picked out. He spent an extra hour after school everyday walking me home...in the opposite direction as his house.
And so, what you get when you date a really good 15-yr-old girl with a wide n' fiery rebellious streak is a girlfriend who is constantly breaking up with you and then getting back together with you.
It's great, you should try it.
I was constantly at odds with my better self who knew that I wasn't ready for a relationship like this. I knew my family had dating rules for a good reason. I was in way over my head. And I knew it. But I was crazy for this boy! And he loved me! And I could do whatever I wanted! And...and...
SEE? Roll.er.Coast.er.
During this time I fell in love with rock music because he introduced me to some great stuff. I loved Creed, The Tea Party, Live, Nickelback, Incubus, and Fuel because of his influential music tastes. The first song doesn't really remind me of him, per se....but it was a song that I became addicted to during this time of life...and it became my anthem from ages 15-16.
(And please, ignore the cheesy youtube versions I've posted. My apologies! Just listen to the songs, don't watch the videos.)


And this next song is such a great song, it's kind of too bad it reminds me of him so much. Although there are a plethora of songs I could choose from, I think this one reminds me of all-of-this the most......ish......


We dated on and off for 6 months. Until finally, my better self won out....and I broke up with him, for REAL this time. At first he just thought I was being my schizophrenic self and would not resist his efforts to reunite. But when it became clear that this was more than just a temporary effort to soothe my guilty heart, things got a little ugly. He was really....just....mean. I mean, it was because he was sad and mad. But still! That next six months was torture for me. Complete with as many heartbreaking songs as I could get my hands on. Funny enough, I can't think of any that stand out. All I remember is being in a fog. A broken-hearted, emotionally draining haze. Yuck.
ANYWAYS.
Just for the sake of finishing a story, he ended up dating my best friend (remember? the one from the beginning who liked him, too?) secretly the next year. She lied to me about it. Lots. Usually to my face. And our friendship suffered (duh.)....and all because of 'that' boy that all girls say they'll never let come between their friendships. (Sigh.) Their relationship was fairly short-lived. Then, anyways.
However, the year that I graduated, he left for two years to be a missionary, and we ended up being able to say what we needed to say about those roller-coaster times before parting ways...And voice some tentative hopes for a reunion upon his return. He got to say he was sorry for being ruuude, and I got to explain why I was so....silly, so it was good.
BUT in between those two points were some of the best times of my teenage years. And I have a song or two to go along with that awesome group of people I shared them with. So no need to rush.

But that's another post for another time.